Awww Shucks, that’s just plain Corny!



A cornucopia of wasted cobs



Somebody please explain to me when the ridiculous practice of “peel-peeking” began, and why it has somehow proliferated all the way to July of 2011. Is it just me or has this gone too far? I am (of course) talking about the weird and destructive automatic habit some consumers of fresh produce have of needless sweet-corn exposure! I was in a local Woodman’s the other day, standing near the fresh fruits and vegetables when it hit me…that woman has parked her wire grocery conveyance near that bale of corn, and is busily peel-peeking as if her very life depended on each cob selection. Grasp, grip, peel-back, discard – grasp, grip, peel-back, discard – right into a large black plastic garbage can liner parked nearby the bale. What the Hell!

Why do we (not me…but YOU) continue to do it?

I’m sure that at one point in your life might have actually done it. At the very least, you were undoubtedly a material witness to the unholy act once or perhaps multiple times. You want fresh ears of sweet corn, so you sidle up to the store display; grab the nearest cob; grasp the green husk and giver a rip…peeking for Lord knows what!

Did you ever stop to ask yourself why? Sure it must have all started long ago quite innocently and even perhaps out of necessity, but now? Back in “the day” maybe a plague of marauding locusts had horrifically descended on a struggling rural farmstead, (totally unbeknownst to poor Farmer Ralph) and that tainted harvest somehow made itself to market. A quick visual check on a few ears might have saved you from trading in your prized hen once the fouled maize had been detected, but nowadays I am convinced it’s an activity that you think you are somehow expected to, supposed to, conduct or you will lose your consumer-credibility with bystanders. Kinda the way there is an unwritten rule about a dozen eggs selected from the cooler. Unless and until you take that “lid-lift glance” you are but a simpleton rube about to be duped into purchasing a dozen selections of hen-fruit which multiple others (far more savvy consumers than you could possibly aspire to be) have expertly bypassed. Or perhaps it’s just a crazy Pavlovian reflex…something you cannot help from doing.

In my logical argument against proliferating this bizarre ritual (or self-proclaimed God-given consumer right) I offer the following counter-questions and arguments to ponder:

When was the last time (while selecting bulk produce) you…

• Peel-peeked a bunch of bananas?
• Checked the interior of a pineapple with a paring knife?
• Created a new quart of strawberries by hand-selecting from all the neighboring containers, leaving the mushy ones behind?
• Core-sampled a cantaloupe to gauge its sweetness?

Perhaps grocery stores themselves are to blame for weakly caving in to selfish and pissy consumers who whined about wanting to shuck the entire ear before leaving the store; by placing an all-too-handy garbage pail nearby. I say that because not only were there the entire cob-shuckers busily shucking their choices, but as I said earlier; people peel-peeking and discarding entirely fine cobs also into the can, after they had dismissed their quality for one reason or another.

Finally, with my four completely randomly selected (in protest) peel-free cobs in my cart, I checked out with a smile on my face…then I noticed on the way out of the store that there were several shopping carts with “reduced” produce in them. Amongst the myriad of second class items, I sadly saw plenty of (now completely) peeled sweet corn covered in plastic wrap, that perhaps had been rescued from the waste bin prior to being cruelly discarded.

UPDATE: my completely un-examined corn was placed on my Weber grill and eventually shucked at the dinner table with surprisingly normal results. The golden ears tasted just like corn and were completely locust-free! 

If you don’t believe me…check out more corn-rage here: Some poor fool decided in 2004 to ask a simple question and a multitude of produce-nazis responded with disdain and loathing to the guy for pages and pages...it's a real eye-opener into the dark souls of the sanctimonious, spoiled consumer.

Swedish SPAM®-Balls with Lingonberries

Vote for US and our amazing - tasty creation!

Here's a creative and FUN way to serve SPAM® at your next suaree' and the guests will all compliment you on the fantastic flavor of your meal offering. ~ Swedish SPAM®-balls with Lingonberries.

Here's the recipe...you just HAVE to try it!

Ingredients:

2 - 12oz tins of (25% less sodium) SPAM®
1 - cup seasoned bread crumbs

2 - eggs

1/4 cup milk

1/4 teaspoon sea salt

1/4 teaspoon black pepper

1/4 cup minced onions
1/2 teaspoon minced garlic
3/4 teaspoon parsley flakes
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon beef bouillon granule
10-1/2 ounces canned cream of mushroom soup
6-1/2 ounce can of mushrooms (stems and pieces) drained
8 ounces heavy whipping cream
3/4 teaspoon smoked paprika
1/4 teaspoon liquid smoke
1/2 cup sour cream
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
8 ounces wide egg noodles

Directions for Swedish SPAM®-balls:

Using a Paderno® double melon balling tool, scoop out as many balls of SPAM® as possible from the two tins.  Use the 3/4 teaspoon side of the dbl tool.  Place these balls into a bowl temporarily.  Cut up the remaining pieces of SPAM® for use in a sandwich spread (for later preparation).

Place the SPAM® balls in a gallon size zipper bag.  Add salt and pepper. 

In a small bowl; break the two eggs and add the milk - whisking the two together thoroughly. 

Add the egg mixture to the plastic bag with the balls.   

Knead the balls thoroughly but gently for a minute. Dump in the breadcrumbs and gently knead another minutes with your hands.

Place a 12-14 inch non-stick skillet on medium heat.  Add the SPAM® balls and cover 2 minutes. 

Tumble  the balls gently on the heated surface of the pan every minute, carefully separating them with a non-metallic implement so as not to scratch the pan's coating.  Add no butter, margarine or oil in this process.  Keep the balls relatively dry so as to maintain their coating of breadcrumbs while frying to a light brown finish.  17 minutes total cooking time.  Collect the balls into a bowl for later.

Directions for Swedish sauce:

Total Time: 20 mins

1. Sauté onion in olive oil until softened.

2. Stir in garlic and mushrooms, cook until heated through.

3. Add the can of mushroom soup and a half can of water.

4. Stir well then add in the chicken or beef flavor base, cream, paprika, onion powder and parsley flakes.   Ahhh...here comes that golden brown color...Just lovely!

5. Stir well and then stir in the sour cream.

6. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

7. Add hot cooked SPAM®-balls and let simmer for five minutes.

In a medium sized kettle; heat water on the stove for 1/2 bag (8 ounces) of wide egg noodles.
 

Plate the noodles when cooked, spooning a healthy portion of the Swedish SPAM®-balls and sauce onto the top.  Salt/pepper to taste.  Add scrumptious authentic Felix® Swedish Lingonberries on the side for eating along with each tasty morsel. 
 
 

 

ENJOY!